Oh my god!
by Duo-of-Redwall
Summary: InuYasha faces off against his greatest opponent yet... read to find out who.
1. Chapter 1

**Oh My God!**

**By:**

**Duo-of-Redwall**

Disclaimer: I in no way, shape, or form own any part of Inu-Yasha… of my of their merchandise for that matter…So you just try ta sue me you money hungry bastards!

_Kagome stood at the end of the aisle of an empty church in a white wedding dress. Her grandfather stood next to her in a light blue suit and walked down the aisle with her arm in arm. Kagome beamed with pride as she looked down the aisle at Sango, Kaede, and Kikiyo standing to her right in matching pink and white kimonos and no her left were Sota, Koga, and Inu-Yasha in light blue kimonos as well._

"…_Wait!" She thought, "If Inu-Yasha AND Koga are over there… who am I marrying?"_

_Miroku stood at the alter reading a bible that had a playboy in it, as Kagome came to a halt in front of him, Sango slapped him on the head and he remembered what he was there for._

"…_Oh! Okay, I think I got the hang of this but I have better things to be done so I'll give the short version of this." _

_He stood taller and tightened the grip on his staff. _

"_Kagome… do you?"_

_Kagome stammered as she tried to peek at her mystery groom. _

"_I… uh…I ummm…I…" _

_Miroku shrugged. "Sounds like a yes to me! And do you sir?"_

"_I do." _

_He said in an eerie voice that sent shivers up and down Kagome's back, but she still couldn't place the voice to a face. _

"_Alright then, I pronounce you man and wife! You my make out with each other as I plan to do with Sango!" _

_As Sango snatched Miroku's staff and proceeded to pummel him with it, Kagome's groom turned to her for his kiss; her face went pale with horror as Naraku leaned over to kiss her._

"_Don't be shy my love!" He said puckering up._

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Kagome screamed into the darkness around her as she sprang into reality. Inu-Yasha fell out of the tree he was in and Sango hammered Miroku with her Hiraikotsu for grabbing her breast in his sleep.

"Grrr! What'cha go and wake everyone up for Kagome? I was having a good dream too." Inu-Yasha growled irritably. Kagome hugged her sleeping bag closer as she answered him looking off in space and talking in a dazed voice.

"I…I had a dream that I… married Naraku…" There was a dead silence as everyone, even Shippo, stared at her in disbelief.

"That's crazy! What kind of a dream is that? I swear you get crazier and crazier every day!" Inu-Yasha grumbled. Miroku rubbed his red cheek as he accessed Kagome's dream.

"We shouldn't disregard Kagome's dream so easily. Dreams often are omens of that which will happen in the near future." Shippo turned to him and said.

"Yeah right Miroku! Naraku's our enemy! How do you think that Kagome's just gonna up and marry him when he's so…so…so _evil_!" Inu-Yasha stands, lifts Kagome up and walks off with her. Sango starts after him saying,

"Hey, Inu-Yasha! What are you… where are you-" but Miroku held up and hand of silence to let him go in peace, but then followed them. Sango blushed as she tailed him.

"Miroku! What are you doing, this is so wrong?" Inu-Yasha carried the stunned Kagome over to a near by lake and dropped her in.

"Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha!" Kagome stammered as she was shocked out of her shock. Inu-Yasha stood with his arms crossed as she crawled out of the freezing cold water.

"Inu-Yashaaaa! Why would you do that? That was so mean!"

"You can't talk if you _can't_ talk Kagome! So now that you're back down on earth, how 'bout an explanation?" Demanded Inu-Yasha, arms stilled crossed.

"What do you mean an explanation; you say that like I control what I dream! I even more freaked out then you are." Kagome said trying to hold back her anger.

"Ha! I have a bigger reason to call Naraku an enemy and you think you're freaked out! What possessed you to have a dream with Naraku in it if you're not killing him!" Kagome glared at him with tears in her eyes.

"I DON'T KNOW BUT IT DOESN'T HELP WITH YOU YELLING AT ME WHEN I'M ALREADY SCARED INU-YASHA!" He took a step back in shock as Kagome fell to her knees in crying.

"Hey…hey quiet it Kagome. I didn't mean to- I was just- I was-"

"SIT BOY!"

Kagome yelled in her fury! Inu-Yasha was magically slammed to the ground by the power of the beads around his neck that bound him to Kagome.

"SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT-SIT! SIT BOY!" At the end of her rant, Inu-Yasha was a good three feet into the ground. Sango, Shippo, and Miroku winced with each rendition of the dreaded command. Sango ran after Kagome as she ran off crying.

"Kagome wait!" she cried. Miroku strolled over to the hole Inu-yahsa had been buried in.

"Put 'insult a girl that is already immensely frightened from her dream' on your 'do not do list' Inu-Yasha." He crawled out of the whole and said.

"I don't understand why she's acting like this. She had a dream about Naraku that she hasn't even had about _ME_ yet!" Miroku nodded his head.

"So, jealousy! An understandingly high level of it, but jealousy all the same." Inu-Yasha managed to stand and started after Kagome and Sango

"Inu-Yasha please; none of your stubborn, diehard attitude tonight. I would like to go to sleep without having to bandage you up." Miroku pleaded.

"I'm not leaving this alone until I get to the bottom of it." He said leaning on his Tetsusaiga as a crutch. Sango had managed to quiet Kagome's wails to whimpers when Inu-Yasha limped into view.

"Uh-oh! You want me to just nail him with my Hiraikotsu before he gets here? I can hit him too, he's limping." She said reaching for the weapon. Kagome looked as Inu-Yasha stubbornly dragged himself to her and it put a smile on her face.

"No, I think he's lost some of his steam and is ready to talk rationally." She said confidently. When he got within shouting range, Inu-Yasha yelled,

"What the hell Kagome!" Sango fell over trying to conceal her laughter.

"Grrr, SIT BOY!" Kagome yelled irritated at the same stubbornness she was just admiring. "I won't talk to you if you're gonna act like that Inu-Yasha!" Struggling to his feet Inu–Yasha continued to fight his way to Kagome's side.

"Fine, just stop saying that!" He yelled back.

"Saying what?" Kagome asked playfully. "You know damn well what I mean Kagome!" Inu-Yasha said. "Oh, you mean… 'SIT'?" Inu-Yasha crashed inches in front of Kagome. He growled as he tried to get back no his feet.

"Damn you!" Kagome helped him over to the log her and Sango had been sitting on. "Are you ready to comfort me now?"

Inu-Yasha blushed and looked away as he stammered. "I-I-I-…I'm s-s-s-s-sssssssssssssssssooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy!" He stopped and panted as if he had just run half away around Japan and back. Kagome sat with her chin resting on her hands and asked monotone. "Sorry about what?" Inu-Yasha took in a deep breath and yelled in one big wave.

"Imsorryforbringaninsensitivejerkandforyellingatyouwhenishouldhavebeentryingtocomfortyou! God…I hate you!" He growled. Kagome leaned on him, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder and said,

"I hate you too." Lovingly. Sango left and grabbed Miroku by the ear out of the grass he had been hiding in with Shippo. Kagome scooted closer to Inu-Yasha and buried her face into his chest.

"I'm scared Inu-Yasha! I don't know why I had that dream and I'm really scared!" She whimpered. Inu-Yasha put his arm around her and said.

"Come on, it's just a stupid dream, quiet crying! It'll be alright." Kagome persisted. "But Miroku said that my dream might come true! What if it does!" Inu-Yasha pulled her in closer.

"Hey, I said quiet crying! Miroku doesn't know what he's talking about! There's now way you'd ever fall for Naraku, that's just crazy, even for you! Forget what the perverted monk said and listen to me; you're going to be alright!" Miroku threw one of his shoes at him and Inu-Yasha started after him, but Kagome grabbed his sleeve.

"Inu-Yasha…you'll protect me, won't you?… If my dream does come true… you'll stop me right?" Inu-Yasha thumped her on the head

"You think I'd let you marry Naraku, even if you did lose your mind. I said I'd protect you a long time ago and I said don't worry. It won't happen, I won't let it, so let's get back to sleep okay?" Kagome stood still, holding Inu-Yasha's sleeve, but then collected herself and went back to their campsite holding him as he limped.

The sun shined the group awake as it cast its rays over the green grass around them. Shippo stretched, rolled over, and said cheerfully. "Good morning Ka… Kagome? HEY! WHERE'S KAGOME!

**FIN**

The suspense! This is just chapter one, but I think I can wrap this up in 3 more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh My God!**

**By:**

**Duo-of-Redwall**

Disclaimer: Still don't own Inu-Yasha… just in case yer still trying to screw me over.

Inu-Yasha grabbed Shippo and glared at him. "It's bad enough Kagome woke me up in the middle of the night, now you wake up screaming? What are you going on about?" Shippo failed about in mid-air, screaming.

"Are you blind? Kagome isn't here, she's been kidnapped by Naraku!" Inu-Yasha dropped him and walked off to check out the area. He didn't smell Naraku's presence, and he didn't fell a demonic aura near them. He turned to Shippo and said.

"You've gone mad, we're not too far from the village, and she probably just woke up before us and went home for a second. Stop blowing things out of proportion!"

Sango woke and turned over, witnessing Miroku's hand, once again, on an area it shouldn't be. She beast him within an inch of death and walked off mumbling her opinion of the perverted monk to Kilala. Miroku got up leaning heavily on his staff, hobbling over to Inu-Yasha, and saw Shippo running circles around him in fury.

"I'm telling you Naraku took her! Kagome's dream came true and he stole her to marry her! Why wont you believe me, we gotta save Kagome!" He yelled, his arms swinging wildly.

"Why is Shippo in such distress?" Miroku asked Inu-Yasha, who had just punted Shippo into orbit.

"Aaaaahh, he thinks Kagome's been kidnapped by Naraku because he woke up and she was gone." Miroku pondered on this news for a while.

"…I do not feel the presence of a demonic aura, and if Naraku had been here, you would have picked up his sent… I am sure you are mistaken Shippo, let us return to the village and we will surely find Kagome there. She probably just woke earlier then the rest of us and decided to freshen up."

The trio walked over to the village and witnessed a scene just short of chaos! Women ran screaming as red-faced men, drooling and laughing, chased them in frenzy. Looking threw an open window, Miroku quickly pulled his head back out and blushed.

"My… this town has certainly been visited by some fertility spirit. The men are cursed with a powerful lust!" Sango came running after them, screaming.

"Help! If someone doesn't stop this mad-man I will kill him!" As they turned to her, an elderly man chased Sango down and began groping her vigorously. Miroku swiftly smacked the man's head with the butt of his staff.

"Be calm Sango, these men have been cursed, they can not help themselves!" He said helping himself to a quick feel as he helped her up.

Sango pulled her Hiraikotsu off her back and sent Miroku flying. A group of women ran over to her in tears. "Help us lady demon slayer, the man have gone crazy with lust! Their acts are most shameful, even lady Kaede has fallen!" Shocked and disgusted, Inu-Yasha raced threw the town and brained all the ravaging men.

Sometime later, Kaede met with them to explain what had happened.

"The day was that of any other." She started, pouring them tea. "But then I felt the presence of some divine-being and went to greet it! I was surprised to see a small child wandering the forest. Walking closer to him, I saw he was wrapped in a while clothe and had wings, a bow and a quiver of arrows. I knew that this was the god I felt, but I did not recognize him. When he noticed me, he took flight toward the village. Giving chase, I witnessed him notching an arrow to his bow and striking a man, but he did not fall! He turned toward the sound of my gasp and was over taken by an overwhelming power of lust I have never felt before."

Inu-Yahsa was in a corner holding his stomach, rocking back and forth. Shippo floated above him transformed. "What's the matter with you Inu-Yasha? Why is you're face all green? Did Kaede say something to upset you?" Sango giggled.

"Kaede said nothing Shippo; it's something she did that has upset Inu-Yasha." She explained, winking at Kaede. Shippo turned back and confronted the elderly woman.

"Kaede, you'd better not do it again. We have to find Kagome and we can't without Inu-Yasha's nose!" Kaede blushed and looked off at the sky donning a coy look and pretending to blush.

"Well I don't know Shippo; I haven't felt this…satisfied in a long time… I may just do it more often." Inu-Yasha scrambled to his feet and ran out the room, his hands over his mouth.

"Hey! You get back here Inu-Yasha! We have to find Kagome!" Shippo yelled after him. Miroku had been silent the whole time Kaede relayed her story to them.

"Lady Kaede, you say that this god was a little child, cold you tell me if he had an olive reef over his head?" Do you remember such a distinction on the god?" Kaede nodded and said.

"Yes… as a matter of fact, he did have a reef over his head, what of it?" Miroku stood and grasped his staff. "If what you say is true, then we are dealing with a power that is beyond our control. Come Sango, we must find Miyoga."

Bowing to Kaede, they left the hut and found Inu-Yasha coming from out of the woods. Shippo was dancing around him screaming.

"I told you! I told you, I told you, I told you, but you didn't listen to me! Now can we please go and find Kagome before she's forced to marry Naraku!" Miroku walked over to them.

"What is it that vexes you now Shippo?" Inu-Yasha swatted him into a tree and said. "I went into the well to check on Kagome… and her mother said that she hadn't returned since she left." Miroku nodded knowingly.

"So… I was right to say Kagome's dream was an insight of the future, but I wasn't expecting the future to be the very next day." Hitting Miroku in the head, Inu-Yasha growled at him.

"Would you cut that out, Kagome hasn't been kidnapped by Naraku and their not getting married! That damn wolf probably snuck up on us in our sleep and took her for himself… Grrrrr, I'm gonna kill that mangy-flea bag!" Inu-yasha sped off, Shippo floating after him.

"Inu-yasha, you've still got it all wrong! Naraku has her, not Koga! Inu-Yasha!" Sango looked at Miroku as he rose to his feet.

"Are we going to stop him or let Koga beat some sense into him?" Miroku dusted himself off and started to walk off into the forest.

"Lets him go, he just might be right, we must still find Miyoga." Not long in their search, Kilala jumped on Sango's shoulder.

"Meeew." She purred. Sango scratched her ear lovingly.

"Where have you been? …Ow, Miyoga!"

The flea demon was dangling off her finger, sucking her blood. Miroku grabbed him before Sango flicked him into the atmosphere.

"Miyoga, my wise friend, you're just the flea I was looking for, I require your ancient knowledge." Miyoga jumped onto a tree branch to talk to Miroku at eye level.

"What's on your mind, my young, perverted friend?"

"I'm curious as to the landing or crashing of a foreign ship here in Japan. And wither or not it held a god on it." Miyoga thought for a while then answered. "Why yes, some 80 years ago a foreign ship crashed on the southeastern coast of Japan, and sure enough when I went to investigate, there lay a broken statue and a strange spirit floating around it, but it disappeared almost as soon as I got closer."

With a grin expression on his face Miroku quickly turned and ran out of the forest.

"Then what I feared is true!" Sango jumped on Kilala's back as she transformed and pulled Miroku on after her.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"I was once told of a god of a far away country on the mainland that had a god of love called 'Cupid'. He was a child god with wings wrapped in a white cloth with a bow, an olive reef on his head, and a quiver of arrows on his back."

"…Like the god Kaede described!" Sango gasped.

"Yes," Miroku continued. "But this 'Cupid' has a power from his land that we hold on our own here in Japan; he is the god of infatuation. His quiver holds two types of arrows; one made of gold with a silver tip that will cures its target with instant infatuation on the first person they see. The second, an arrow of stone with an iron tip that curses its target with hate on the first person they see."

Sango shock her head, "Leave it to foreigners to create a god with such power, but no limits. So why is this so bad for us?" Miroku leaned in closer and grabbed Sango, saying

"You saw what happened at the village. This 'Cupid' my not be our god, but he still holds all his power, would you like it if every man in Japan that laid eyes on you were as passionate as I am?" as he said this, Miroku filled his hands with Sango's Ample chest.

Slapping Miroku off Kilala, Sango yelled into the air. "LETS FIND THAT BASTARD!"

Mean while, in a far away location that shall remain secret. Kagome woke and found herself in a bed with silk sheets!

"Hey! Miroku must have conned his way in to another mansion and Inu-Yasha carried me in!" She thought aloud, until she got out of the bed and noticed that she had no close on.

"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Diving back into the silk sheets, she heard foot steps from above her coming closer. A light from the ceiling filled the room and Naraku walked in, holding her uniform.

"Good morning my love, I had this washed for you, I hope it wasn't too much of a shock for you to wake up naked. Don't worry, I was gentle."

**FIN**

I re-he-heeeeeeeeeeeally don't think I can finish this when I plan to so I'm just going to stop planning and finish this when I finish it. Thanks for reading, Chapter 3 coming soon!


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